


He's My Friend

by Bats



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-25
Updated: 2000-07-25
Packaged: 2017-10-19 02:36:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/195901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bats/pseuds/Bats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One is willing to sacrifice himself for the other in the name of friendship. First times. NC-17.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's My Friend

He’s My Friend  
TOS K/S  
By Bats

McCoy waited. He knew that Spock’s shift was ending and he wanted to talk with him. The turbolift doors opened and Spock emerged alone. The Vulcan brow raised high as he saw the Doctor standing idly there.

“Is there something I can do for you, Doctor?” Spock inquired.

“Yes there is, Mr. Spock. I would like to talk to you about Jim.” His worry now showing on his face. The Vulcan nodded. “I don’t want to talk out here in the hall. My quarters are just around the corner.” The Vulcan followed the doctor.

Spock stood just inside the door as McCoy paced the room. “How does Jim seem to you?” McCoy finally asked.

“In what capacity are you asking, Doctor?” Spock countered.

“As a friend, dammit.” McCoy was impatient with Spock’s preciseness.

“Efficient.” Spock said in answer to the Doctor’s original question.

“What about off duty, when you play chess?” Bones inquired further.

Spock paused. McCoy thought that he was almost uncomfortable with the question. The Doctor watched the Vulcan intently.

“We have not played chess in three point two weeks. Prior to that, we only engaged in a chess match twice in the previous four weeks.”

“Hell, that’s over seven weeks. It’s worse than I thought. It’s been that long since he had a meal with me.” McCoy lamented with concern.

Spock looked attentively at the Doctor, “I see. I thought…….” His sentence trailed off as McCoy’s eyes connected with his.

“You thought Jim was mad at you?”

“He has been distant since Deneva, he was grieving. And then after I killed him, I assumed that he needed time to assimilate that I had been capable of that kind of behavior.” Spock said stiffly.

“That’s part of it. When was the last time you were off duty with him?” Bones had that curious look that said he was close to an answer.

The Vulcan almost sighed. He answered patiently, “Three point two weeks, Doctor.”

“I can’t believe that he would stop spending time with you, of all people. You are his best friend.” McCoy paused for half a second, “So, he hasn’t been spending time with anyone else at all.” Bones moved across the room and stood in front of the Vulcan. “He can’t keep doing this. Spock, you have to talk to him.”

Spock’s shoulder’s slumped just a bit. “I have tried, Doctor. Yourself?”

McCoy waved his hand around the air dramatically, “Jim just pulls the ‘is there something wrong with my performance as Captain’ crap. Spock, the crew will start to notice soon. He’s known for how he relates to the whole crew. They will notice that he is not around.”

“I will think on it, Doctor.” Spock turned to go.

“Spock!” The Vulcan turned at the sharpness of the voice. “Spock, when Komack denied Jim the trip to Vulcan, Jim stood there and chose the loss of his career willingly so he could aid you. His reason, ‘He’s my friend,’ that was his only motivation. Why shut you out now? Spock, that isn’t how the Captain works. Only you would be able to get through to him now. You must try.” McCoy changed his posture slightly, “I don’t want to make this a medical issue.” McCoy’s worry paramount in his stance.

“I will speak with him, Doctor.” Spock did leave this time.  
\---------  
Captain’s James Kirk rubbed his eyes as he finished yet another technical journal. It was the middle of the ship’s night, so Jim changed into running clothes and headed for the observation deck. Running would exhaust him and maybe he could sleep without the dreams. He stood first and looked out at the stars. His thoughts went exactly where they wanted to go, even if he didn’t want them to.

There was Edith. She had helped so many, her ways were the right ways. She had saved McCoy, and he had to let her die. Caring for her had allowed him to be distracted from Spock. Spock who had looked so delicious in the old earth clothes, playing with all the transistor tubes.

Sam, oh hell, he had lost Sam. His Brother. That part of his family gone. They had shared so much growing up. Gone now. And the horror, the real horror, that he could only face when exhaustion was his only companion, was the guilt. Deep guilt in his joy that what had killed Sam, hadn’t killed Spock. He couldn’t have born that. That was when he’d started to worry.

Then right on top of that, the pon farr hit and Spock nearly died. The betrayal that he felt when all alone, because Spock had never told him he was just less than married. But all that hadn’t mattered when that bitch rejected him. He could see it later in his eyes, he was less than a Vulcan should be. That was how she made him feel. He had wanted me down there. I was his friend. Then that terrible fight, I couldn’t put my heart into a fight to hurt that which was so precious. Thank all there is for McCoy. He saved me, he saved Spock. The smile. That smile that lit the Vulcan’s face. That smile had been for me. After that, he thought that he could feel Spock, just kind of know that he was there. The fear had taken hold then.

Soon afterward the stop at Omicron Ceti III. Kirk had hated Leila Kalomi. Spock had openly loved her. It didn’t matter that it was the spores, when he could express emotion, it had been with her. After that, he hadn’t felt the bond anymore. A piece of him died there. He knew deep inside that he wished that Spock had loved him there. He learned that this was not to be his reality, his only other dream, would never be.

All the pain, all the loss. He couldn’t do it anymore. The fear won. So he backed off. He slowly detached himself. He knew Bones was worried. But that was just McCoy, he’d have meals with him again after he got this all under control. He had to stop chess altogether. That fear that he’d accidentally reveal his inner thoughts with Spock was too great. Spock didn’t try too hard to continue and that had hurt also. Their friendship wasn’t that important to the Vulcan. He couldn’t remember anymore why he had thought it was.

He was more protected now, didn’t feel much. It was better, safer. He needed safe. He had his ship, that would have to be enough. No choice now, anyway. He’d run, running was good. He’d run around his ship a few times, get tired. She was here for him at least.  
\--------  
Jim’s body was tired, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. He went to take a last look out. There was someone else there and he turned to go.

“Jim, wait.”

Spock was here. He stopped and turned, schooled his face like the Vulcan’d taught him. “Yes, Mr. Spock?”

Spock stood there, hands behind his back, sad-like face. “Jim what is wrong? Did I do something to anger you?”

Kirk felt a momentary squeeze in his chest, then he pushed it out. “No, Spock, I..”

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.” Uhura’s voice boomed over the intercom.

Kirk turned and pressed the closest comm. “Kirk here. What’s the matter?”

“Distress signal from Perda Prime. They’re under attack, Captain.”

“I’ll be right up. Go to yellow alert. Ahead maximum warp. Kirk out.” He turned to Spock, “You’re needed on the bridge, Mr. Spock.”

Spock nodded and headed to a turbolift as the Captain went to change clothes.  
\-----------  
The struggling government had come under attack by rebels that did not want a treaty with the federation. The conference was in a shambles. The Captain beamed down with Mr. Sulu and four security personal. Spock had wanted to come, but Jim had told him to protect the ship. When Spock started to object, Jim had made it an order.

After the landing party beamed down, the ship was attacked by the planetary defense grid. The ship sustained one hit before the grid was immobilized.

“Transporters are down, Mr. Spock.” Scotty relayed to the First Officer.

“Spock to Captain Kirk.”

“Kirk here.”

“The planetary defense system attacked, they are now immobilized, but the transporter circuits sustained damage.”

“Injuries?”

“None, Sir.”

“How much time for repairs?”

“Working on it now Captain. Fifty minutes at least Sir.” Scotty broke in at Spock’s nod.

“Keep me posted. Kirk out.”

Jim looked around him, at the shambles that was to have been the conference hall. The building was only half standing due to a recent explosion.

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, spread out and let’s see what we can find.” Kirk directed his personnel with a smile.

Sulu used his tricorder and checked the surrounding area for life signs. “Over there, Captain.” He pointed to the north, away from where the rest of the landing party had gone.

Kirk nodded and the two of them made their way north. They located signs of fresh blood before they finally encountered the life sign. It was one of the leaders that they were to have met with, Anesta Sitare. “Chancellor, what happened?” Jim asked as he leaned down to check on his condition. The large holes in the man’s stomach did not bode well for his chance of survival.

“Rebels that don’t want to see the government stabilized with an agreement made with the Federation. War is profitable to some, Captain. Please don’t let this discourage the Federation. The economical survival of Perda Prime lies with the Federation. Please….” Anesta’s head rolled to the side. Kirk put his hand to the neck to check for a pulse. None was to be found.

“Captain? Jackson here. We have located some of the rebels.” The communicator hummed.

“Phasers on stun. We’re on our way. Sono and Hedges, back up Jackson and Varne now.”

“Yes sir.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Sulu and Kirk ran back the way they’d come and then followed the coordinates Jackson had provided. They had just got Jackson in sight when they came under fire.

Kirk and Sulu rolled right and left respectively, phasers drawn. Rebel fighters erupted from the rocks around them. Phasers and projectiles flew back and forth as the skirmish continued. The phasers were put on wide stun and eventually all the rebels were subdued. But the Enterprise landing party had sustained injuries. The rebel’s weaponry was not of laser variety, but more similar to the old Earth weapons of the lead bullets. They found jammers on the downed rebels.

“That’s why they didn’t show up on the instruments, Sir,” Sulu reported to a distracted Kirk.

Sono and Varne had been hit in the leg. They had make-shift bandages.

“Enterprise, this is the Captain.”

“Mr. Spock here.”

A burst of joy at the voice that Jim immediately tampered down. “We have injuries. How long before the transporter is ready Spock?”

“Captain are you all right?” Spock asked immediately. Something was not right about the Captain’s voice.

“Yes, Spock, I’m…..”

Sulu’s voice broke in, “Captain you’re bleeding. Mr. Spock, the Captain is injured too.”

“The transporter is at sixty percent power, we can take five up. That’s all for another thirty minutes.” Scotty announced.

“Okay, have McCoy standing by. Five to beam up.” Spock announced as he got up from the Captain’s chair.  
\-------  
Jim surveyed his own damage and made a decision. “Sulu,” The Captain motioned his helmsman to his side. He spoke into his ear, then said aloud, “That’s an order, Mr. Sulu.”

Sulu nodded, not pleased at all, but unwilling to go against the Captain’s orders. Into his communicator, “Energize.”  
\--------  
Spock waited next to the transporter controls as Scotty competently worked them. On his right McCoy stood anxiously. They waited as the bodies shimmered into form.

“Dammit! Where’s the Captain?” Bones yelled at the five crew members. He motioned to his staff to take away the injured people.

Sulu spoke right up. “Captain ordered up to beam up Sir. Said to take the ones that were sure to survive.” Sulu looked to Mr. Spock as he stepped off the transporter pad. “Mr. Spock, the Captain said ….the ship is yours. Take care of her.” Sulu had to swallow hard to prevent the sadness he felt from showing in his voice.

McCoy incensed, ordered, “Scotty beam him up now.”

“I can’t sir, dinna have enough power.” Scotty returned, a wealth of sorrow in his voice.

“How long Mr. Scott?” Spock asked, voice betraying nothing of what was going on inside.

“Forty five minutes, sir.”

Sulu looked to Spock, then McCoy, “I don’t believe he has forty five minutes.”

“Work as fast as you can, Mr. Scott.” Spock ordered. He bent down next to McCoy’s supplies and then left the transporter room.

Scotty nodded and focused his mind on the controls. He looked up to ask Spock a question, “Where’d Mr. Spock go?”

“Hell, to do his job on the bridge. Damm, Jim just gave up the captaincy to him.” McCoy railed. Dammit Jim, fight…McCoy thought to himself, in fear of truly losing his friend.

“Bridge to Mr. Scott.” Uhura’s voice requested.

“Scott here.”

“Mr. Spock has taken the shuttle to the surface and said that you have the con.”

“Blasted Vulcan.” McCoy squeaked.

“He’s gone to get the Captain?” Sulu asked.

“Aye, Laddie.”  
\-------  
As Spock watched the shuttle bay doors close behind him, he said to himself aloud, “Not this way Jim. Not like this.”

He wanted to save the Captain. He needed to save Jim.

The flight to the surface was one of the most horrendous that Spock could remember. All his thoughts coalesced into one single feeling, love. He loved that human so much more than he ever thought was possible and now Jim may very well die and Jim did not know.

Spock knew that he had survived the break with T’Pring because of Jim. The bond with him had been stronger than the one broken. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but the bond knew that Jim hadn’t died and Spock had lived because if it. He had begun to notice it, notice Jim. Knew where he was, just a slight awareness. He couldn’t ask Jim if he had felt it, then he would have had to admit the bond, his feelings.

Omicron Ceti III, the spores. Leila. She had been there. If Jim had been there, it would have been him. Jim did not know, but Jim had felt some of his emotions. Jim had begun shielding. Jim was now shielded so strongly, that he could not breach it unless he physically melded with him. Jim didn’t even want to be in the same room as him. When had Jim become more important than the job? Jim gave him the ship, his ship and here he was going down to Jim instead.

Spock pushed the shuttle the fastest it could go. Twenty minutes later he was on the surface, looking for Jim. He found him wedged between some rocks, unconscious. He used the hypospray that he had taken from the Doctor’s bag. He wrapped the wounds in Jim’s chest and stomach and stopped the bleeding.

He was so pale. He had to connect with him, provide a healing trance. His communicator beeped. “Spock here.”

“Did you find Jim?” McCoy asked.

“Yes, he’s alive, unconscious. Two injuries. Chest and abdomen. I stopped the bleeding. How long for transporter?”

“Thirty minutes.” Scott’s voice said.

“Bring him back up, Spock.” McCoy ordered.

“He would not make it Doctor. I will try a healing meld. Beam us up as soon as possible.” Spock left his communicator open for the transporter fix and attended to Jim.

Spock straddled Jim, then placed his fingers to his temple. The shield even now was difficult to break through. What an incredible human mind this one had. Spock couldn’t help but admire the strength of mind Jim possessed .

He worked through the shield. He had to travel far to find the essence of Jim. It was very closed off. He set the healing meld and returned to the essence. There was a wall around it, him.

// Jim. Jim. Fight, you must fight past the wall //

// No. I can’t…..I don’t want to, my two deepest loves can’t love me back. //

// Jim you will fight. You must return. Let me in. //

// Spock! // No, no…..not now. // Go away Spock //

// Jim why do you shut me out of everything? //

// No Spock, go away. I am fine. //

// Jim, you will die if you refuse me entrance. //

// So be it. //

// NO! //

Jim’s mind was silent. Spock panicked. He felt with all of him, yes, Jim still lived.

// Jim, if you die, I too will die. I’ve have melded a life/death meld. I’m am with you. Live or die, for the two of us, it’s up to you. //

// You stubborn, pigheaded Vulcan. I gave you the ship. Go take care of her. Leave me now. //

Jim’s mind anger broke the wall and Spock was in. Weaving himself now into Jim. If one died the other would go too.

// Jim you have shut me out, I do not know why, but I will not leave. I could search and find out for myself. But I want you to tell me. Why, Jim, what did I do? //

Jim seemed to know that Spock was telling the truth. About the meld lock and about being able to read all in here, but electing not to, for Jim’s sake. Damm his stubborn Vulcan.

// Spock I have lost so much. Too much. Sam died and I almost lost you too. I couldn’t stand losing more. I went away. //

// Jim, my blindness was not your fault. //

// I know, I know. //

// Then? //

// You nearly died there, like Sam. Then all would be gone. //

Jim’s mind was flitting all around, Spock wasn’t tracking. // The ship was safe. What all would be gone? //

// Love, my life. Only a shell would remain. //

// Jim, I am at a loss. I can not follow your thought paths. //

A huge, loud mental sigh. If Spock was going to die with him, he should know why.

//You would be gone. Spock, my feelings for you grew. I could no longer fool myself and pretend that I cared because you were a good First Officer. I love you. Emotional, romantic love. A love that Vulcans reject. ……….only……..only I saw it on Omicron Ceti……you showed her love. You said that you had been happy for the first time in your life. I died that day. This is just the physical end. Please, leave now. //

Jim’s mind turned away. Spock was stunned. He had never guessed this.

// Jim, the spores worked on whomever was closest. She was the first I saw. I was happy, but I wanted to feel that with you. If I could have chosen, I would then and now, choose you. //

A whisper of Jim’s mind was back.

// Jim, it was you that saved my life on Vulcan. The breaking of the bond should have killed me. It did not. For I had a stronger bond with one I actually loved. You. I did not tell you, did not know how, then you shut me out. The last month you have kept me completely out. It has been…. lonely without you. //

// Spock, I felt the bond. After Omicron Ceti, the pain was too great. I blocked it all. //

// Jim, I would die without you because I love you. All of me, both Vulcan and human. //

// I love you Spock, I am all that I’ll ever be with you beside me Spock. How do we live? //

//Let me in completely, together we will survive. //

A mental sigh, // Yes. Together. I want that. Come in. //

Spock was in and saw all that Jim was, hopes, dreams, good, bad, all that made Jim who he was. He saw the start of the wall, the love, his fears, his sadness. Sam and Vulcan. Spock was puzzled, instead of the fight and his death on Vulcan, what replayed instead was that conversation that McCoy had alluded to.

“I can’t let Spock die, can I Bones? And he will, if we go to Altair. I owe him my life a dozen times over, isn’t that worth a career? He’s my friend.”

That is what Jim stayed with, not his behavior, not the reasons why. His friendship, his love. Spock again was stunned by this human. That was what had kept Spock anchored, T’Pring never had a chance to really hurt him. He wrapped himself around all that Jim was and held him.

// Together we live. //  
\-----  
“Doctor, are they both dead?” Scotty asked in a whisper.

Bones had checked immediately, they both still lived. “They’re alive. But we have to get them to sickbay. Just don’t separate them. That might kill them both.”

Dr. M’Benga entered the transporter room on McCoy’s words, obviously just awakened. He bent down to the pair on the floor and touched Spock’s forehead. “Yes, Dr. McCoy, it is more than a simple healing meld. That is a bondmate’s life/death meld. They either will both live or both die.”

“And how do we prevent that?” McCoy yelled, even more worried than he let on.

“You save the Captain, you save Mr. Spock. But you can’t remove Mr. Spock’s hands. Not until the Captain is really out of danger. Let’s get them to sickbay. I can get Mr. Spock to lay next to the Captain so we can work on him.”

McCoy looked to Scotty, “Can you beam us directly there?”

Mr. Scott had that look in his eye, “Aye Doctor.” He fine tuned the controls and said, “Here ya go, Doctors.” They shimmered out of sight.  
\-------  
With the help of several of the medical personnel, they got both Kirk and Spock onto biobeds, side by side. M’Benga placed a pillow under Spock’s hand to make it less stressful on the Vulcan’s body. McCoy, M’Benga and Nurse Chapel worked on Kirk’s wounds. They removed the two projectiles embedded and closed the openings. Kirk’s life signs remained steady throughout the operation, but were still dangerously low. The Vulcan was weakening also.

M’Benga knew that he would have to help them disengage. He prepared himself for the contact with meditation. He touched Spock’s face and was alarmed. Spock wasn’t there. He followed and saw the bond. He touched Jim’s face now too. Spock was there, in Jim’s mind, behind a wall.

M’Benga sought out the human mind. // Jim. Jim, I need you to answer. //

//Yes. Spock? Doesn’t feel like you. //

// Good. Jim, it is Dr. M’Benga. I need you to remove the wall. Release Spock. //

// No. Not alone. //

M’Benga picked up enough, he understood. // Jim, look at the bond. Seek it out and then look at it. // He saw Jim locate and look at it. // Jim, the bond is strong. Unbreakable. Let the wall down. Tell him you’re fine out here. He won’t release you ‘til you do. You don’t want to lose him now. //

// I won’t be alone again? Without him? //

// No Jim. Let down the wall. //

//Yes. //

Jim’s mind released the wall and Spock was able to return to himself and he brought Jim in with him. They were together.

// Joy. My Spock //

//Sunlight //

// Joy. You are beautiful //

// You brought sunshine with you //

// Joy together //

//Yes, joy together //  
\-----  
M’Benga had sat back, exhausted. Amazed at Jim’s mind. Extraordinarily strong for a non telepath.

McCoy wasn’t paying attention to M’Benga, he was distracted by the changes in his patient’s physical conditions. Both men had rock hard erections.

M’Benga followed McCoy’s expressive face and answered the question that hovered there. “Yes, Doctor, Jim has entered Spock’s mind. They’re becoming acquainted with their bond. That is a side effect,” he paused, then clarified, “Not the mental link, but their emotional attachment. That’s the bond that kept the Vulcan alive after the broken betrothal.” M’Benga almost looked embarrassed, “I do not want Spock to go into spontaneous pon farr. Jim would not survive it in the state he’s in.”

“What can we do?” McCoy asked, fascinated that M’Benga was revealing as much as he had.

“You must help relieve them, we can’t relay on their ability to do so. They are both too weak, and Doctor, I can not aid you. I am a telepath and that would be too much stimuli input for me; it would be double, as it would be from two people. It really won’t take you much to complete it for them, Doctor.” M’Benga told McCoy with no outward emotion.

Bones looked at this as falling under medical emergencies. He undid Spock’s trousers first and released his erection. Jim’s was easier to access, as his trousers had already been removed. He cupped both their erections, trying to remember the last time he had been this hard. He pushed down, trying to prevent active hip movement. Instead he moved his hand and established a rhythm. Back and forth as he gripped their erections firmly. Both extended their hips, pressing into his hand as he moved faster. He tried to distract his mind, thinking clinically, to prevent himself from thinking about his two friends beneath his hands.

It wasn’t long, then both men were arching their backs, on the brink of release. McCoy could feel their ejaculations and then their bodies relax as their organs became flaccid once more.

Spock’s hands left Jim’s face as they instinctively drew the other close within his embrace. M’Benga lightly touched both Spock and Jim’s head. “They are resting Doctor. All is as it should be.” He disengaged his hands and asked McCoy, “Their vitals?”

“Stabilized.”

M’Benga nodded. He sat in a nearby seat and closed his eyes. Meditating to regain his mental strength. To join, even on the peripheral of two such minds, was exhausting.  
\----------  
Five hours later Spock awoke to find Jim in his arms and McCoy sleeping in the chair across the room. The Vulcan untangled himself from Jim’s arms and sat up. Spock surveyed his own situation and knew that he needed a shower. Jim was resting comfortably and he left for his own quarters.

After donning a fresh uniform, he checked with Mr. Scott and learned they were still in orbit as they awaited the Federation’s decision on Perda Prime. He on the floor and reached a meditation state where he could look at the recent events. He could not remember all, and knew he should. He felt as though something monumentous had occurred.

He had established a healing meld and added the bondmate’s life/death meld. That had reached Jim and he then allowed the healing meld to work. Someone else had entered. He reconstructed the thought pattern and recognized Dr. M’Benga. Then the walls were completely lowered and Jim had entered his thoughts. After that, only the intense feeling of pleasure was remembered.

He needed to seek out Dr. M’Benga. He had the computer locate the doctor and went to the research lab. He found him hunched over a scope. “Doctor, when you have a moment, I would like a minute of your time.”

M’Benga straightened and indicated a room where they could have some privacy. “How can I aid you, Mr. Spock?”

“You aided in the meld. I do not recall all that occurred and wished to seek out what happened.”

M’Benga looked at Spock and nodded, “I went in to help the Captain disengage from your healing meld. I found I didn’t need to be careful after I entered, the bond from his side is equal to yours.” He paused, then added honestly, “The bond is very intricately woven. It has been there a long time.”

“Yes.” Shame sounded in the Vulcan’s voice.

“Spock, the bond is strong on both sides, do you understand?” The doctor leaned forward, urging Spock to work it out.

A puzzled question was in the Vulcan’s eyes.

“Jim’s mind has been forming the bond also. The strength of a bond that is initiated by one side will obviously be stronger on that side. Your bond is equal on both sides. You may have initiated the bond but Jim has been building it from his side.”

“I believe though, that I may have coerced the Captain into that.”

“Spock, may I?” M’Benga put up his fingers in a melding request.

The Vulcan nodded. “Spock, look at my conversion with Jim. Does he feel coerced?” The doctor placed his fingers on the Vulcan’s temple.

// Good. Jim, it is Dr. M’Benga. I need you to remove the wall. Release Spock. //

// No. Not alone. //

// Jim, look at the bond. Seek it out and then look at it. Jim, the bond is strong. Unbreakable. Let the wall down. Tell him you’re fine out here. He won’t release you ‘til you do. You don’t want to lose him now. //

// I won’t be alone again? Without him? //

// No Jim. Let down the wall. //

//Yes. //

The doctor asked again, “Does he feel coerced?”

“No.” Spock saw and believed that Jim indeed wanted the bond and strengthened parts of it himself. Spock felt Jim awake, “Thank you for all your help. Jim has awoken. I must go.”

M’Benga nodded. “You’re welcome.”  
\--  
When Spock entered the sickbay, his eyes went to the biostats. He was resting comfortably. He could feel the smile from Jim before he saw it. The bond was comfortable without being intrusive.

“Jim.” A wealth of meaning in a single word.

“Spock.” A smile that caressed the name. “I can feel the bond again.”

“You do not mind?” Spock found he would rather hear Jim say it.

“I missed it.” Jim answered honestly.

Spock’s whole body relaxed. “Do you remember the healing meld.”

“It’s like a dream, but I do recall that you refused to leave and planned to die with me. You must not do that. Promise.” Jim placed extreme emphasis on the word promise.

“I can not. Jim, we are fully bonded. I will most certainly die when you do.”

Kirk sought Spock’s dark eyes and saw the truth there. “Seems I need to take a bit more care of myself.”

“Most appreciated.”

Jim wasn’t sure if all he remembered was real or imagination.

Spock forged ahead, “Jim please do not lock me out of your mind again. It is most difficult to handle.”

“I stopped feeling you after Omicron Ceti.”

“Yes, Jim. You locked me out. Your mind is very strong for a non-telepath. Your shielding is very advanced.

Jim looked at Spock, watched him fidget, so he volunteered the truth, “I was jealous.”

Spock moved next to Jim and picked up his hand. He trailed his two fingers over Jim’s first two fingers. “Unnecessary, you fill my heart.”

Dr. McCoy entered sickbay and checked the biostats on Jim as he smiled at the men. “Glad to see that you’re awake, how do you feel?”

“Like I was punched in the gut. When can I get out of here?” Kirk returned the smile.

“Why is everyone always so darned fired up to get out of this place?” McCoy said as he inspected the healing wounds.

“Could possibly be your bedside manor Doctor.” Spoke said straight faced.

“I’ll have you know that I have a great bedside manor, I just have impatient patients.” McCoy fired back as he looked over at Spock. Spock raised his brow.

Jim interrupted, “Bones?”

“Jim you need to rest a couple of more days.” McCoy said seriously.

“I’d rather do that in my own bed.” Jim answered.

// Wise idea Jim. //

// Resting wasn’t on my agenda. //

Spock’s heart rate quickened at the notion. He then became aware that Dr. McCoy was speaking and focused his attention, “…..So will you be able to do that Spock?”

Spock hurriedly replayed what he’d missed and answered, “Yes, Doctor I will keep Jim in bed.”

// Can’t wait to see how. // Jim’s mind voice was seductive.

McCoy smiled, “I won’t ask how, but I know you’ll keep your word.” He gave Spock a knowing look before he turned to Jim. “I want to see you eat and then you can go directly to your quarters.”

“Great, Bones, bring on the food.”  
\-------  
McCoy left after explaining the antibiotic shot to Spock for the third time.

Spock sat on the bed, next to Jim’s legs. “Jim you have that look.”

“What look? The one that say’s I haven’t gotten a kiss from you yet?”

“You received your first kiss in sickbay after you woke up.” Spock informed him, hiding a smile.

“I can feel your smile Spock. That was a Vulcan kiss, now I need a human one.” Jim turned the full power of those hazel eyes onto the Vulcan face.

“Can I refuse you anything?” He asked as he leaned in.

“I hope not.” Jim reached up with his hand to pull the seeking lips closer.

Spock wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but the electrical charge the surged throughout his body was considerably more. The kiss then became the center of his universe. He could feel his pleasure and Jim’s pleasure, twofold, he felt consumed.

They broke for air and Spock removed his clothes in haste. Jim had removed the little he had on and he opened the covers for Spock to join him. There was no hesitation in the Vulcan, he laid beside Jim and resumed the kiss that did not disappoint at the second joining of their lips.

Jim shifted Spock so he lay on top of him. Their erections rubbed together and fueled the passion ignited by the kiss. Their hips rocked, never losing the contact. Their shared connection intensified the feeling for each. Jim was lost in the buildup of Spock’s orgasm, the wonderment of the delight experienced by the being that held his heart, was enough to push Jim upward and over. The shudders of pleasure shared back and forth prolonged the ride and left both men spent.

Tucked within Spock’s arms, head resting on his chest, Jim felt a contentment within his soul that he had never known. He reached his mind for Spock’s.

// Love, can you feel this? // Sharing his never before felt contentment.

// Yes. //

// This is the gift you give me. I have never known this until you. //

The warmth that the Vulcan felt flooded over and Jim smiled.

// I now belong. Unconditional acceptance, a joy I have never known, you give to me. //

Awed by the strength of Spock’s love, Jim held the Vulcan closer. “Together.”

“Indeed,” a smile was in the voice and on his the face.

fin

 

 

many thanks to beta JensenRick.


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